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June 11
Notes to self
Tram doors do not open automatically. Unless you push the button to open the door, the tram will leave the platform while you stare through the windows at the passengers who are staring back at you and wondering why the h[eck] you don't just push the stupid button, already.
Those bright red blotches scattered randomly through the hair of otherwise very conservative-looking women are stylish, not accidental. The even brighter red streaks adorning the hair of punks and/or goths are also deliberate.
The landlord is not completely naked. She is wearing swimsuit bottoms, albeit very small ones. Sometimes, in the late afternoon, she also wears a shirt.
You must furnish your own grocery bags unless you want to purchase new bags every time you buy milk and/or Nutella.
You must bag your groceries yourself. You must do this as fast as you possibly can. If you do not, your groceries and your newly purchased bags will be piled at the end of the conveyor belt while the cashier and other customers look quizzically at you and wonder why the h[eck] you haven't been bagging your groceries, for pity's sake.
The key really will open the door—you merely have to learn the Top Secret Rapid Gymnastic Wrist Flicking Motion first. This should not take more than ten minutes.
You will not find your lodgings on Großburgerstrasse if you live on Gabelsburgerstrasse. These are not the same street.
Brussels is not the only European city with iconic decorative fauna. Wolfenbuttel also proudly features a large yellow bell-wearing cow.
Although exactly two people in the entire country have your contact information, that may be your mobile phone that starts ringing noisily during Sunday School.
Germans do not jaywalk. Your cavalier against-the-light and/or mid-block street-crossing will engender startled and/or disapproving expressions from those patiently waiting for the light to change at an intersection with no cars in sight.
It is possibleto smoke a cigarette while riding a bicycle.
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